Baby: No bookmark. “The Monster at the End of This Book” does not require a bookmark
Beginning reader: Still no bookmarks. If interrupted, place picture book face down to preserve location. Use as roller skate when you re-enter the room.
Grade schooler: Dog ear the pages of “The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe”. Go to furthest page dog-eared, since every second page is so marked.
6th grader: Use pink name-derivation bookmark your grandma gave you at Christmas, since your sister has threatened to dismember you if she ever catches you dog-earing her copy of “Watership Down” ever again.
9th grader: Intricately designed bookmark made with a black BIC pen, lined paper and tape… and the extra time granted to you by your American History class.
College student: Erudite Shakespearean quotes on reading and philosophy that you got out of Bartlett’s Quotations, spent hours looking for the perfect celtic clip-art for, and printed on resume paper.
Young Adult: Proper bookmark with nice but inobtrusive artwork that sits right by your bed for your regular use.
Parent of an infant: No bookmark. “The Monster at the End of This Book” does not require a bookmark.
Parent of young children (son edition) Pokemon or Bakugan cards
Parent of kids Magic the Gathering cards (common)
Parent of college student $6 bookmark with logo of child’s school that you are paying $50,000 a year for. You paid for said bookmark at college bookstore while dropping child off.
Empty-nester Limited edition signed artistic bookmarks created by the artist whose work you’ve been following lately.
Grandparent Laminated picture of your grandkids being cute. And/or cats.
Needless to say, I am at the Pokemon bookmark phase of life. I will confess to harboring the suspicion that it demeans whatever book I am reading. (Tolkien right now.)
What bookmark phases am I missing? Which phase are you in right now? What bookmark is in the book you’re reading right now? What’s your favorite ever bookmark?