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Sample bookmark: googling "Brenda Ardent One" didn't work out so well.

Sample bookmark: googling “Brenda Ardent One” didn’t work out so well. Represents the 6th grader’s bookmark

Baby: No bookmark. “The Monster at the End of This Book” does not require a bookmark
Beginning reader: Still no bookmarks. If interrupted, place picture book face down to preserve location. Use as roller skate when you re-enter the room.
Grade schooler: Dog ear the pages of “The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe”. Go to furthest page dog-eared, since every second page is so marked.
6th grader: Use pink name-derivation bookmark your grandma gave you at Christmas, since your sister has threatened to dismember you if she ever catches you dog-earing her copy of “Watership Down” ever again.
9th grader: Intricately designed bookmark made with a black BIC pen, lined paper and tape… and the extra time granted to you by your American History class.

This masterpiece now lives in my Bible, along with many of my other nice bookmarks.

This masterpiece now lives in my Bible, along with many of my other nice bookmarks.

College student: Erudite Shakespearean quotes on reading and philosophy that you got out of Bartlett’s Quotations, spent hours looking for the perfect celtic clip-art for, and printed on resume paper.

I thought I might find this in the Yale Shakespeare, but instead I found it in the Rodale Book of Composting. Go figure.

I thought I might find this in the Yale Shakespeare, but instead I found it in the Rodale Book of Composting. Go figure.

Young Adult: Proper bookmark with nice but inobtrusive artwork that sits right by your bed for your regular use.

I picked this one up in Venice shortly before Grey came along

I picked this one up in Venice shortly before Grey came along

Parent of an infant: No bookmark. “The Monster at the End of This Book” does not require a bookmark.
Parent of young children (son edition) Pokemon or Bakugan cards

It burns my precious! Obviously this is my current stage of life.

It burns my precious! Obviously this is my current stage of life.

Parent of kids Magic the Gathering cards (common)
Parent of college student $6 bookmark with logo of child’s school that you are paying $50,000 a year for. You paid for said bookmark at college bookstore while dropping child off.
Empty-nester Limited edition signed artistic bookmarks created by the artist whose work you’ve been following lately.
Grandparent Laminated picture of your grandkids being cute. And/or cats.

Needless to say, I am at the Pokemon bookmark phase of life. I will confess to harboring the suspicion that it demeans whatever book I am reading. (Tolkien right now.)

What bookmark phases am I missing? Which phase are you in right now? What bookmark is in the book you’re reading right now? What’s your favorite ever bookmark?

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