Category: Daily living

I wish I were a Mongol warlord

Last night after a crucible-like evening of thrown food, chores, decisions made on empty stomachs, and children who live in alternate universes in which they are Heat Blast (who does not, it turns out, generally like to sit at the table and eat his dinner politely) my husband turned to me and said, “I wish I were a Mongol warlord. I bet they didn’t feel guilty all the time.”

Practicing his Mongol castle attack skills, in case
Practicing his Mongol castle attack skills, in case

I imagined him perched on his piebald horse, dripping in furs and beads with a menacing look. I looked at him, eating the split pea soup he’d made with a crusty loaf of whole wheat bread he’d made. “I bet that Mongol warlords don’t actually see their children very much,” I replied.

He glumly agreed with my analysis of the Warlord solution to parenting frustration problems, dipping his bread in his soup.

This morning on the way in, I was caught between my compulsive drive to listen to the news, and my great desire not to want to actually hear the news. Wrestling a heavy and recalcitrant 15 month old (almost) out of his carseat to drag him in to preschool to drop Grey off, I marveled at the complexity of my own life. There are so many moving parts and conflicting priorities.

On the average day my life is filled to the brim with problems minor and major. I wrestle with providing my children with all the things they need across a wide spectrum — from appropriate discipline to making sure that Thane has clean clothes at daycare. I work very intentionally to be a good partner to my husband. I try to eat well and exercise in order to keep my body in good enough condition to do the rest of the work. I have a smorgasboard of church tasks that I try to keep up with. In addition to that there’s my spiritual adventure – not the same, but related. Then we get to the fact people expect me to work a job and do complicated stuff and answer emails and write code. On top of that is managing my career, which isn’t at all the same thing as doing today’s work. And there’s handling the finances responsibly — have I gotten all my W2 forms yet? Can we afford to just order pizza tonight already? Do we need to rebalance our retirement portfolio? (Answer: yes, but I’m too lazy). And of course there are my responsibilities as a citizen, which range from being well informed (people tend to ask me questions, so it behooves me to have answers), to voting, to sending contributions of money and effort to wracked Haiti.

Wouldn’t it be simpler to be the harem-mate for a Mongol warlord? If not Mongol-centric, what other, simpler time might I have lived in?

I indulged the fantasy for a few minutes: maybe a Victorian lady, or Medieval peasant. I could’ve been an Anchoress.

You could argue that my degree in Medieval studies was completely self-indulgent. I rarely encounter a burning need to tackle middle English texts in my role as a software engineer. But one thing I learned about life as a Medieval scholar is that people are people, and the broad outlines of our lives have not generally changed.

Victorian ladies had wildly distorted body images, and had to work really hard to cripple themselves appropriately. They also navigated highly political lives with great opportunities for social humiliations. Medieval peasants woke with dawn, had complicated relationships with their finite communities, and had little recourse or opportunity for change and pretty much no privacy. And I really can’t imagine that being in the harem of a Mongol warlord was fun and games, even if you managed to produce some nice little male heirs. Most of all, in all those imaginary past roles, I would face a much greater risk of burying one or more of my children.

I was reading a summary biography of John Donne the other day (don’t ask). His wife bore him 12 children. Two of them were stillborn. Three of them died before they were 10. His long-pregnant wife died 5 days after birthing her final child. “In a state of despair, Donne noted that the death of a child would mean one less mouth to feed, but he could not afford the burial expenses.” (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_donne) He loved his children as deeply as I love mine. The poetry he wrote about them is breathtaking.

I bet Mongol Warlords don’t get to sing showtunes with their kids, either

I think I’m content to live in this busy age, when I have the most opportunity to choose the path of my own life, and when my children have the best chance of living to ripe old age of any generation ever in all history. So, after long consideration, I’ve decided that my plan of going back in time to become Mongols is right out, love. Sorry. Have you ever considered getting lost on a desert island?

24 hours late

In the last months, we’ve missed 2 Sundays of church due to overnight snow, falling heaviest during the church-commuting-hours. This is unprecedented. This morning, we awoke to a tapping on our windows.

The Sunday morning snowstorm was a day late.

One of the truths about working in technology is that you can work from anywhere, as long as you have your trusty laptop and high speed internet access. So on one hand, this is great news for a snow day. Both my husband and I are staying safely off the treacherous roads. Five years ago, this would’v been a fantastic and relaxing opportunity. We would’ve looked gooey-eyed across the table at each other while writing our SQL scripts and complaining about the latency of the VPN. But, as you all recall from my incessant complaining, daycare is at the same location work is. So if I’m not going in to work, the kids aren’t going in to daycare.

What this means for me NOW is that I have two full time jobs I’m supposed to pull off today: full time getting coding done, and full time keeping people alive and reasonably happy. (So far this morning, Thane’s been able to trap himself in his toy bin and irritate his brother by playing with noisy toys while Grey was watching tv.) Add in undigging the driveway; a two hour job I’d guess, assuming this doesn’t turn to snow with a layer of ice on top. Happily, my husband is home to share the pain. Sadly, he didn’t bring his laptop home, which means he’s in the attic where the desktops are while I keep the home fires burning in the living room.

Thus the excitement of my life! So tell me, what do you do on snow days? Do you look forward to them? Dread them? What day of the week would you most like to have a snow day on?

Cabin Fever

In my youth, I was heavily influenced by the great, classical writers whose influence will be felt down through the generations. I mean, of course, Erma Bombeck and Patrick McManus. What? You’ve never heard of them? And you call yourself an English major! Erma I’ll leave for another time: suffice it to say everything I know about maternity underwear I learned from her. Patrick McManus is the pinnacle of humorous outdoorsy writers. He wrote about the world in which I lived my youth — a world I left in the dust when I drove across a blazing hot country from my home in the shaded Northwest to arrive at a prestigious and ritzy New England college, dripping in history and “Natty Lite”.

I remember reading “Never Sniff a Gift Fish” in the log cabin my grandparent’s inhabited on the Cedar River, at a Boy Scout camp they ran (Camp Fremont). There were dogs milling about and arcane tools stacked in tubs in the corners. It was chilly and I don’t recall fireworks, which points to a Christmas visit. One of the prizes I unearthed in a back room was a stack of McManus Masterpieces. The great ones were there: “Rubber Legs and White Tail Hairs”, “They Shoot Canoes, Don’t They?” and “The Grasshopper Trap”.

Anyway, one of his brilliant essays talked about Cabin Fever. Go ahead. Go read it. I’ll wait.

Read it? Good.

So Monopoly, fudge and the old “Great Northern Railroad” calendar.

That, folks, is where we’re at here. I’ve been home since Wednesday, when it seemed like a good idea to work from home. Ha! Since then, I think it’s snowed three times? Four times? Yesterday, a day I was willing to venture out, I had to take two passes at getting in to my driveway because I turned the wheel, but the car was disinclined to go that direction. Today it was much worse. For the second time in three weeks we had to cancel church. I was very much looking forward to church. You know, people who don’t beg to play their DS or scream at me because they’ve lost the lid to their very favorite toy: the empty milk jug?

I suspect my mother-in-law is planning a break for it. She keeps talking about “packing bags” and “plane leaves tomorrow at 11, but you could probably drop me off now if that’s more convenient”.

Grey is bored stiff. I don’t blame him. I’m bored stiff too — or possibly that’s a side effect of the shoveling. Did I mention that all of us except Grey is sick with a sniffly cold?

You know the only thing worse than being bored stiff? It’s being bored stiff and not permitted to sit down and read a good novel because someone wants up on the couch. And down off the couch. And up on the couch. And down off the couch. And up on the couch…. and wait! Where is the lid to the milk jug?!?!?

At least Grey is now at an age where he can play in the snow while his father and I shovel. He had fun this afternoon, getting buried in deep drifts, throwing snowballs at passing cars and pretending to be cold. I didn’t take any pictures because I was afraid that no one would recognize the white-haired gnome.

Tomorrow it should be all done. The winter storm will pass. We’ll all head back to work and daycare for the long slog of serious winter. Thane will probably have to go back to the doctor because he’s not better. All the balls that were put down on the ground for a week will be picked back up and tossed into the air. I’ll dye everyone’s hair back to the normal color, and life will go on.

Let’s just hope this is the last of the snow!

2009 in review

One of my friends posted this. I generally don’t do memes here (memes are internet quizzes that tend to get copied around between various people), but this one asks some good questions and I didn’t have some OTHER brilliant idea for what to write about today. So here you go!

2009 In Review

1. What did you do in 2009 that you’d never done before?
Made apple butter and ate radishes. All the other examples are things that I probably don’t want to admit that I have ever done, mostly related to Thane’s health and comfort. We took the boys camping, which turned out to be a completely awesome thing to do. And for the first time, I had a relative live with me for an extended period (my brother). Dim sum.

2. Did you keep your New Year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I made a resolution to do my best to serve a vegetable with every single meal (well, lunch and dinner) even if no one else will eat them. I’ve actually been really successful with this, even though no one else eats them. At least it’s meant that *I* eat more veggies. I lack a good articulation of what I’d like to do next year.

3. Did anyone close to you have a child?
Both my neighbors had babies this year, and several of my internet friends. There were also some sweet little babies at church, with more on the way. Whee!

4. Did anyone close to you die?
My father-in-law died about 10 months ago. The “firsts” without him have been hard. We miss him a lot.

5. Where did you travel?
This wasn’t a year for wild adventurous travel. We went to Atlanta in May, Washington State and Victoria BC in summer, and New Hampshire for camping. (Hey honey! I just remembered… you need to renew your passport. This reminder brought to you by the hours we spent sitting in the passport office in Seattle this summer….)

6. What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?
A ____ where I am more ____ and ___ than I am at my current ____. Also, a big exciting international adventure. Also also, I’d really like to see my friends down in DC.

7. What dates from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory?
Dude. I still can’t remember my eldest’s birthdate. I would say it was the night my father in law died, but I’d be lying because I only vaguely remember which month that was, although I remember with cristal clarity listening to my husband pick up the phone and hear that his father had died — a day before he was going to fly down to see him.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Most of the things I’m striving for are longer term than a year, and none of them really came to fruition this year. I’ve been working towards raising two wonderful young men (time horizon: 20 years), building a vibrant church that serves Christ and humanity with joy and enthusiasm (time horizon: forever), and creating a strong and joyful marriage (time horizon: my lifetime). Maybe I need a few shorter term goals, eh? Oh, I did learn Flex at work?!

9. What was your biggest failure?
I am not very fit or strong or in shape. It gets hard to do everything else if your body is not adequately attended to.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
No, I’m really pretty darn healthy.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
I got this glass teapot with these jasmine tea flowers that unfurl. I’ve been looking for just the perfect tea setup, and I finally found it. I’m just happy every time we use it. Add to that “St. Petersburg” and you get some of my happiest quiet evenings, even though I always lose. Also, bras that fit.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Grey has been fantastic this year. He was really difficult a year ago during the summer, but he’s really hit his stride since. He’s polite, charming, interested and interesting, funny, affectionate and generally a joy to be around.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
I’ve been really disappointed by the willingness of Americans of all stripes to accept their labels “Conservative” or “Liberal” and then make all subsequent decisions based on that identity. I’ve been disappointed with all our politicians from both sides of the aisles for playing politics instead of making the best possible governing decisions. I have not yet understood whether it is not possible to govern for the people the way our system is currently organized, or whether they choose not to do so. I do feel that the media, by handicapping the political horserace instead of discussing the substance of the issues being debated, has furthered this tendency.

Also, I really wish we were better people than to pay so much attention to the private lives of others whom we’ve never met. Frankly, it’s none of my business how Tiger Woods chooses to comport himself. And I still haven’t figured out WHY Paris Hilton is a celebrity.

14. Where did most of your money go?
I’ve been asking myself this question a LOT lately. It believe the top four largest are the mortgage, taxes, childcare and charitable donations.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Christmas comes to mind! Ooh ooh! I know! Hiking the West Side of the Wonderland Trail. I was vibrating for 24 hours at having gotten the perfect itinerary at the last minute. It was AWESOME.

16. What song will always remind you of 2009?
The Symphony of Science MP3s became favorites this year.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you: a) happier or sadder? b) thinner or fatter? c) richer or poorer?
I remain generally quite happy. I don’t really think I can be much happier on a regular basis than I am. I am, sadly, no thinner nor fatter. (This time last year I was 2 months postpartum, so one would HOPE I’d be thinner. One would be wrong.) I definitely think our expenses to income ratio is higher this year, due to the second childcare issue.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
I would like to have read more books (well, of the non-Sandra-Boynton variety) and gotten more exercise.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Being anxious. Also, I should never call my parents before dinner on Friday night.

20. How did you spend Christmas?
I spent it with my boys. Thane the clingy with his ear infection, my husband with the Kindle he just got, Grey rotting his brains out with video games. I even got to play some video games myself!!! The joy of the boys was a great delight.

21. Did you fall in love in 2009?
I deepened my love for my laddies. I did fall in love with suated radishes and plum jam. I did many things that I love, but few of them were new.

22. What was your favorite TV program?
I don’t watch much TV. I did enjoy the Avatar dvds. I like most of the Discovery Channel programming. Baseball was really pretty “eh” this year.

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
This is going to sound corny, but the extremists (esp. in Pakistan/Afghanistan) who blow people up in mosques, threaten voters, destroy girl’s schools and demolish their countries’ infrastructure seem beyond the pale. Usually there’s another side to every conflict, but these people seem to be working against everyone, including their own co-religionists, own ethnic group, and own people. I cannot fathom what they are working for, and cannot imagine how they think they are doing good and will end up in heaven when they walk into one of their own holy buildings and open fire on people worshiping there.

24. What was the best book you read?
The two books of the Sarantine Mosaic by Guy Gavriel Kay.

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Maddy Prior and the Symphony of Science were my two favorite new music thingies.

26. What did you want and get?
A largely repainted interior of the house!

28. What did you want and not get?
A raise.

29. What was your favorite film of this year?
This would be between “The Blind Side” and the new “Enterprise”. I suspect for staying power, it would be “Enterprise”. I’m angling to watch it again — maybe tonight!

30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 31 this year. I believe my husband made me my favorite chocolate cake. Birthday season will likely always mean mine is a moderate celebration.

31. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
My life is generally very satisfying! Is it shallow of me to wish that my online works had been more successful? I would’ve liked it if this blog had gotten a bit bigger audience, or had a post that went viral. I would like it if some of the online work I was doing for my church resulted in more people who are seeking meaning finding it with us.

32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009?
Machine wash only.

33. What kept you sane?
I often remind myself that I have agency over my life. The patterns and outlines of my life are ones that I have laid and chosen — and I know I’m lucky that’s the case. Very few of the boundaries of my life are ones that I couldn’t change if I chose, but I am unwilling to accept the sacrifices that would require. That is a choice, even if it is one that might not seem like a choice because I’d never choose otherwise. But it’s always good to remember when I feel greatly bounded that we are usually only trapped by our minds and perceptions, and could generally untrap ourselves if we are willing to sacrifice what we have and take risks. I’m not sure that’s a clear articulation of what I mean (I do not feel trapped, and I do not wish to escape) but knowing that I am where I am because I choose to be is freeing.

34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
I’m about 20 years behind the times developing a crush on Carl Sagan, but there you have it.

35. What political issue stirred you the most?
The divisiveness of the dialog and inability to find common ground.

36. Who did you miss?
I missed having a best girlfriend next door who loved babysitting and coming over late at night to chat. Pretty much every other slot in my emotional landscape is beautifully peopled.

37. Who was the best new person you met?
I didn’t meet many new people this year. Maybe that’s something I should try to change for next year!

38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009.
You keep your balance better when your eyes are on the horizon, not on your feet.

A cheerful day

Yesterday I spent 2.5 hours in the dentist’s chair telling them they didn’t have enough novocaine in place and being drilled. In the last month, I’ve replaced every single metal filling in my mouth — and I had a lot of them. I think altogether I had maybe 12 fillings replaced?

Not even novocaine can dampen my Christmas pleasure.

I had dinner with a friend (where I ATTEMPTED not to drool too much — I didn’t get feeling back in my jaw until the dessert course), was back in time to put Grey to bed, and spent the evening consulting with Santa on plans for the most fantastic Christmas morning EVER.

Grey went out to buy my present last night, and he was nearly vibrating with gift-giving excitement and the world’s worst sneakiness “Mom, there aren’t any secrets so you don’t need to think about what Christmas present I’m giving you.”.

My husband and I snuggled under the glow of our Christmas tree and made goofy jokes.

Thane crinkles his nose at me in the world’s most goofy grin and said “Car” this morning.

I’ll pick the boys up in an hour or two and we’ll go home and make cookies and wrap presents and wait with our whole bodies.

Tonight we’ll go to our church’s annual Christmas pageant. Grey will understand it, I think, for maybe the first time. The magic and mystery and solemnity will touch him.

How wonderful life is!

Battle Lines and Blind Side

Sunday night, an hour or two miraculously appeared after the boys were in bed. As my husband finished the story-reading, I delved in our well-stocked game cupboard for a new offering for the evening. After sorting through various boxes “The claim that this game plays with two is a lie” “Why do we even own games that have a 3 hour play time?” “I don’t have the 2 hours we’d need to assemble this game”, we settled on Battle Line.

It’s a lightly themed logic and planning game. It incorporates significant elements of poker (to my disadvantage — I’ve never played) in terms of winning card combinations and card counting. You also can gain an advantage by having a poker face, or being able to read your opponent’s intentions. However, there are six “suits” up to 10 cards, and a deck of “break the rules” cards which kept play interesting and unpredictable.

We both loved it. We split two games. We’re champing at the bit to play some more (although if your partner is, like mine, an optimizer, this might be an appropriate game to break out the play-timer for). It’s a small, light game, which means that it just shot to the top of our list for travel. I think it could be even more compact if you replace the “flags” with regular playing cards (they’re simply place holders). This is also the rare game that I believe will be able to handle numerous repetitions of play. There are lots of games that are fun to play 2 or 3 times, or once or twice a year. There aren’t as many games (like chess) that have much higher play potential — that can be different every time you play them, even if you play them for a year.

Then on Tuesday, a second Christmas miracle occurred. We had a free night. And we had a babysitter. I know, I know. Astonishing. Seriously, I think our last evening out together was late September. ANYWAY, I’m a sucker for a heart-warming story, so I’d really wanted to see “The Blind Side”. Ah, friends! Go see it! It is a story of radical hospitality and courage. It is a story about small and great kindnesses. It is a story about the best of people. And, most of all, it is a true story. Mom, this one is rated “K”. I was inspired and warmed by this increasingly rare vision of people behaving with love towards each other, in a family full of kindness.

I also see the movie as a challenge. I wish I had her courage and compassion.

It was awesome to spend time with my dearly beloved, and to have the time so rich. Nothing is so disappointing as making all the effort to get out, and then have your meal/movie be a total dud. These two were the opposite of dud-ish-ness!

My productive day off

I contributed to global warming yesterday. It’s much better for the environment when I just come to work and sit here under the warm glow of fluorescent tubes. (Actually, I can’t complain. I get tons of real light, and in winter have a lovely view of the river.) But yesterday was my Random Day Off!

My first trip out the door was to get the boys to their appropriate daytime locations. We were LATE for preschool, because our dudes have started sleeping later (glory be!) which is fantastic for weekends but less fantastic for school days. On my way home I: washed and vacuumed the car, got a nummy breakfast sandwich, and bought many needful and useful things at Target.

I returned home and unloaded the trove of loot. I immediately went back out for round #2, which took me to Michael’s (where I completely struck out) and AC Moore (where I did nominally better). This time I returned with waning daylight, Christmas light hooks for the front porch and a bunch of inexpensive (er, let’s be honest, cheap) picture frames.

Once again I returned to our abode and unpacked, hung festive lighting on a precarious ladder, and then went to reframe and hang our family portraits.

The cheap frames didn’t have the hanger thingies attached. You had to do it yourself with these TEENY TINY CHEAP nails. I’ve had more fun. Happily, the boys weren’t around to learn any new words from mommy.

Then I went back up North for another hour and a half round trip to get the boys. Traffic northbound was ugly.

I brought the boys back home and delighted them by feeding them pancakes. I’ve noticed that it doesn’t matter whether Grey professes his undying adoration of a meal or his inimitable disgust in the offering — he still doesn’t EAT it. Thane, on the other hand, has an “if it doesn’t move it’s food” attitude which I’m beginning to find rather refreshing. After bath time (an increasingly soggy affair) and story time, I was off to church for Prayer at the Close of Day.

Phew! Happily, the Christmas lights are up, we have enough diapers and new toothbrushes all around, the looming project that had been mocking me first thing every morning is accomplished, dinner is in the slow-cooker for tonight and joy abounds!

Now if only I’d gotten any Christmas cards done it would’ve been perfect!

Sadly, this morning I feeling woogly. My throat is scratchy. I’m tireder than I should be given several nights of good sleep. I hope that a good dose of Zombie Cowboys (long story) clears things up!

Isn’t it always the way?

Often my problem with the blog is finding something to say:
Blog Date 21389 – still live a boring life

But right now I have things to say! I have new pictures! I have Mocksgiving redux! I have last night’s rather intense Presbytery meeting and thoughts inspired therein. I have a report back on how to report sermons and get the podcastified. Thane learned a new word!

Look at that! That’s like two weeks worth of posts! All worthwhile! Content ho!

But is that what I want to talk about? Nahhhhhh….

What I really want to talk about is my hair. I used to be blonde.

Here’s a picture of me taken under my dorm window at Blacksmith, freshman year of college. I was 18. (I’m in the middle wearing a silk tank top and black skirt).

Bonus: three of the four people with me were at Mocksgiving!

That was purely natural hair. It hadn’t been cut in years. I certainly didn’t dye it or style it or anything. That was my hair color.

Flash forward to now.

This is not blonde
This is not blonde

My hair has darkened from truly and honestly blonde to a sort of chestnut. As if that’s not bad enough, it’s chestnut with (ahem) gray streaks in it. Or, perhaps given their source, Grey streaks.

In addition to totally changing colors, my hair has thickened considerably. Back in that collegiate photo, my hair was quite fine and on the thin side. Now my hair is very heavy and thick. Towards the end of my pregnancy, even with super-duper rubber bands I couldn’t put it up in a pony tail. It would just drag it down. I can’t really use most barrettes anymore (and I like using barrettes to pull my hair back).

I have declared Saturday “Brenda is Fabulous” day. It begins at 1:30 with a bra fitting After nearly five years of I’m pregnant, no I’m nursing, no I’m weaning, no I’m trying to get pregnant, etc. ad nauseum (no really — there was lots of nauseum involved) I’m finally planning on a permanent single-occupancy body. I actually threw away all my regular bras when I got knocked up, because I knew otherwise I’d never get around to getting ones that actually, you know, fit. It’s been like two months since I last nursed, so…. it’s time.

Then at 4 pm I’m going to go see Dale (I always want to call his partner Chip, but I suspect that would be rude) and get my hair cut. Or something.

But oh! What the heck am I going to ask for? Something fashionable and current? Something classic and elegant? A mohawk? And what about colors? Do I do anything with the gray? Do I age gracefully? Do I do an at-home wash? Do I get highlights? Will I keep them up if I get them? Do I just ignore the issue for another few years? What am I trying to look like?

What do you think?

It’s Monday and I have a headache

Someone has a case of the Mondays! Oh, it’s me. Hrm.

I’m philosophically opposed to spreading a bad mood by sharing a bad mood. It’s sort of like being contagious with the flu. When you’re capable of transmitting something that’s making you miserable, keep it to yourself already. But today I have a piercing headache, sleep deprivation, sub-par coffee, intransigent SQL, and solo-parenting duties when I get home. I keep breaking unrelated code to what I’m working on, which is double bad because we operate on a “you find it you fix it” sort of policy. And I’m pretty sure there’s a clever fix to what I’m trying to accomplish, but I can’t quite reach it due to the piercing headache.

So you know what today calls for? More cheerful links!

First of all, we have Gives Me Hope. I challenge you to read this site without tearing up a little. If you’re pregnant or nursing, I recommend you grab a box of Kleenex first. This is an antidote to CNN.

Second, in a similar vein and only to be opened if you have iron self-control and/or a couple hours free, we have My Life is Average. The update rate on these small, joyful vignettes of daily life makes this a truly dangerous link.

Finally, The Discovery Channel did right by me and released a new “Boom De Yada” video. Although it does not have Bear Grylls saying “Arachanids” it does have some fantastic stuff.

The combination of these three links should a) absorb all your free time for the rest of the week b) leave you feeling happy. As for me? There’s nothing wrong with me that two tylenol, a trip to Starbucks, a good night’s sleep and a week of vacation wouldn’t fix.