My Dearest Trumpet,
You were absolutely my first love. Obviously, you weren’t the first instrument I dated. Piano and I went out for a few years before we met, and I had a crush on voice when I was a little girl. But I fell head over heels for you. I remember the time we played Cappriccio Italien together. There were all the good times at the Evergreen Music Festival or with the Tacoma Youth Symphony. We had fun in pep band (well, even though we rolled our eyes. I still have the third trumpet part – the best part – to “Sweet Child of Mine” memorized). I used to drag you everywhere. Do you remember that 15 days driving trip across the US when I practiced with you at rest stops and behind hotels?
I don’t think I’ve ever been more in love with you than I was in high school. You made me feel like I was flying on a dragon when we played Gabrieli together. You were with me in one of the best moments of my youth, when Dr. Cobbs winked and told us – for an encore – that we were going to “crash the ship again” in Scheherazade.
I cannot imagine how my life would have been without you, and I wouldn’t trade our time together for anything.
In the normal course of events, though, I went to college. And although I formed a brass quintet (I cannot BELIEVE that site is still up!) and tried playing in the college symphony, it just wasn’t the same. I don’t want to say we’d grown apart, but we both moved on to other things.
After that, it was like we were Facebook friends. Oh, we’d get together a few times a year at Easter or Christmas or for special occasions. But even though I tried to rekindle the spark by looking for a nice symphony orchestra – or even a brass ensemble – where we could be happy together… it just didn’t work out. I spent a long time pining for you. Over a decade, I remained true. Ok, so there was that one fling with the cornetto, but it that was over quickly.
Finally I had to admit, though, that it was over between us. Things would never be the way they were. I guess that’s the way it goes, isn’t it? You can’t go back to the way things were when you were 17. And I moved on.
You know that I’ve been seeing a new instrument – guitar. And it’s been good to me. I mean, the guitar is patient and kind. It gets along a lot better with my friends than you ever did. I could see guitar and I building something beautiful together – not like what you and I had. Nothing could ever reach that. But, you know, a comfortable life together. We were just starting to get serious, you know. Talk about some investments together. Sign some papers. That kind of thing.
Then all of a sudden, you want back in? Really? That wind ensemble that reached out to me; with the amazing looking repertoire, and the schedule I could actually do… but that is on the same night as guitar lessons… let me get this straight. You want me to break up with guitar, and come back to you? And you’re saying that it won’t be just like it was, but it will be great again between us.
The question is, my dear Anduril1, do you mean it, or are you just playing with my heart again? I don’t want to break up with this good and loving instrument just to have my heart broken again. But I can’t really pass up the change to be with you again, either.
I’ve asked to audition in December – gives me some time to see how guitar and I are working out. But… don’t break my heart, trumpet.
1 Yes, that really is the name of my trumpet. What can I say, I named it when I was like 14 and the two things I loved best in life were trumpet and Tolkien. DO YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THAT?
3 thoughts on “Dear Trumpet”
I didn’t name my trombone. If I had, it would not have been complimentary- I was bullied into it by the elementary school band teacher and hated it from day one. When I could ditch it, I went right for the guitar as well.
One of the aspects that is most endearing about your personality is the blend of quirkiness grounded in reality. Love that you named your trumpet and specifically the source. Hugs and can’t wait to hear its splendid voice again.
I’ve played other instruments and it’s fun, I agree, because it’s not so detailed and nit-picky as the main one that you know so well. You’re still in the honeymoon phase. But when I got the chance to play (flute) with the Seattle Rock Orchestra, an actual good group that I fit into, man that was THE BEST THING EVER. I was only supposed to be there for one show and I stayed for nearly two years, until I missed a concert because I was having a baby. There was stuff that I remembered but there was so much that I forgot and I forgot what a remarkable skill it is. Remembering and relearning lit up my brain and I loved it. It probably will break your heart again but do it anyway. It’s worth it.