Stages of life, as marked with bookmarks

Sample bookmark: googling "Brenda Ardent One" didn't work out so well.
Sample bookmark: googling “Brenda Ardent One” didn’t work out so well. Represents the 6th grader’s bookmark

Baby: No bookmark. “The Monster at the End of This Book” does not require a bookmark
Beginning reader: Still no bookmarks. If interrupted, place picture book face down to preserve location. Use as roller skate when you re-enter the room.
Grade schooler: Dog ear the pages of “The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe”. Go to furthest page dog-eared, since every second page is so marked.
6th grader: Use pink name-derivation bookmark your grandma gave you at Christmas, since your sister has threatened to dismember you if she ever catches you dog-earing her copy of “Watership Down” ever again.
9th grader: Intricately designed bookmark made with a black BIC pen, lined paper and tape… and the extra time granted to you by your American History class.

This masterpiece now lives in my Bible, along with many of my other nice bookmarks.
This masterpiece now lives in my Bible, along with many of my other nice bookmarks.

College student: Erudite Shakespearean quotes on reading and philosophy that you got out of Bartlett’s Quotations, spent hours looking for the perfect celtic clip-art for, and printed on resume paper.

I thought I might find this in the Yale Shakespeare, but instead I found it in the Rodale Book of Composting. Go figure.
I thought I might find this in the Yale Shakespeare, but instead I found it in the Rodale Book of Composting. Go figure.

Young Adult: Proper bookmark with nice but inobtrusive artwork that sits right by your bed for your regular use.

I picked this one up in Venice shortly before Grey came along
I picked this one up in Venice shortly before Grey came along

Parent of an infant: No bookmark. “The Monster at the End of This Book” does not require a bookmark.
Parent of young children (son edition) Pokemon or Bakugan cards

It burns my precious! Obviously this is my current stage of life.
It burns my precious! Obviously this is my current stage of life.

Parent of kids Magic the Gathering cards (common)
Parent of college student $6 bookmark with logo of child’s school that you are paying $50,000 a year for. You paid for said bookmark at college bookstore while dropping child off.
Empty-nester Limited edition signed artistic bookmarks created by the artist whose work you’ve been following lately.
Grandparent Laminated picture of your grandkids being cute. And/or cats.

Needless to say, I am at the Pokemon bookmark phase of life. I will confess to harboring the suspicion that it demeans whatever book I am reading. (Tolkien right now.)

What bookmark phases am I missing? Which phase are you in right now? What bookmark is in the book you’re reading right now? What’s your favorite ever bookmark?

11 thoughts on “Stages of life, as marked with bookmarks

  1. The best thing about working in a library? Almost all our vendors send us bookmarks, and somehow I end up with them all! I have about 10 in my bookbag right now. Of course, having so many doesn’t mean they actually get used – two of the books I’m reading at home have L5R cards as bookmarks, and the other has a cat food coupon. I tend to grab whatever is closest, rather than walk to the bookshelves where I know there’s a stack of bookmarks!

    My favorite bookmark ever is one I rarely ever use because it never stays in – it’s this brocade strip topped by a golden unicorn. The unicorn, though, is too heavy and it pulls the whole thing out. Woe.

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    1. I have some beautiful, impractical ones. A stamped leather one with my clan crest that is so thick it breaks the spine, a thin metal filigree one, a crocheted red and white cross.

      But yet the Pokemon card is Right. There.

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  2. I have rarely used bookmarks. Usually I set them down and forget them or lose them or something. Occasionally I will use whatever is handy; grocery list, receipt from the library. If I have errands that require paperwork, I will use those or at least put them in my book. What I usually do is just remember my page or general area and scan until I find the end of what I’ve already read already.

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  3. Oooh, those awful plasticky ones with the thread tassels. I must have had dozens. They were always too thick for the book and 95% of them had cheesy artwork. (Though I think I had one with a Michael Whelan illustration at one point.) That would be elementary/middle school.

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  4. Well, I don’t suppose you get this at your work, but part of my duties is to supervise activities, and we have a fairly well supplied art room. I usually make myself odd things, such as bookmarks, notebooks (quite involved, and almost became a hobby itself) and cards for all occaisions. Somewhat like supervising curious and busy children, I have to accound for scissors, glue, and anything sharp or pointy. (FYI, I work mental health. That is why mine is sometimes questionable.)

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    1. Bookmarks were the favor for my wedding. That might, um, say something about my marriage. I remember my grandfather helping us make them – a fond memory. He was good naturedly complaining about how hard we made him work as he cut tassles.

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  5. Will there still be bookmarks, or will they be a thing of the past which people don’t understand the true meaning of, like icons or files? Perhaps this is a new product idea. Designer bookmarks for e-readers.

    When I open the second drawer of my bedside stand, I can place the somewhat open book over the edge of the drawer. It is waiting for me the next time I need a sleep-aid!

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  6. I have those college bookmarks! I still use them!
    I try to collect bookmarks at any possible place that’s giving them away for free. I’ve got a ton – it’s hard to use them all.

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    1. One of the ones I made? I remember the time Chris was pondering to me who the mysterious and excellent progenitor of the bookmarks was. Ah, how I nearly burst with pride at my big reveal!

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  7. None. Ebooks don’t need bookmarks!😉
    Also training children to use bookmarks, which involves half-sheet noticed from the school of special events, picture days, PTA dinners, and other reasons to spend money.
    And receipts. On re-reading books, I can find receipts for fabric on clothes I have worn out, diapers, fancy dinners, poverty cooking.

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    1. But e-books have bookmarks. Mine are ugly little yellow things. They appear whenever I inadvertently touch the upper right corner of the screen. Surely we can do better.

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