A farewell to boys

So today I took both boys to daycare. I thought it would be easier to drop Thane off at daycare because:
1) He’s a full month older than Grey was when I first dropped Grey off
2) I’ve known Rubertina for three years now, and have had a good experience dealing with her and my FIRST baby
3) Thane is my second baby. These things get easier with practice, right?

Ha. Wrong.

It’s hard to drop your child off at daycare for the first time. I don’t think it gets easier until they get older, either.

It probably doesn’t help that I read this story about SIDS and how it happens disproportionately to children on their first day being taken care of by someone other than their mom, for reasons which are not yet clear. Also, SIDS risk is highest between 2 – 4 months. Thane is 3 months old. I wish to heaven that SIDS didn’t exist and that the fear of him simply dying while asleep was an irrational one. I’m good and dealing with irrational fears. The fact that it is rational and it happens to sweet, smily, healthy children with no warning while they are peacefully sleeping is, to put it simply, utterly terrifying. We have as few risk factors as possible (no smoking, not premature, Caucasian baby, sleeps on his back, room’s not too warm, no blackets, yadda yadda) but it still isn’t zero.

These are the things that occupy your mind one the first day you drop your sweet, beloved child off at daycare. Or rather, the night before, to the great chagrin of your husband.

Happily, the things I worry about are statistically extremely unlikely. I bet that the drive too and from is riskier — especially in this weather. (On second thought, perhaps not such a happy thought.) I look forward to snuggling that sweet little body close to me tonight!