What’s a self-effacing girl to do?

One of my friends at church asked me if she could organize my baby shower. (This woman is fabulous at organizing.) Touched and flattered, I said yes. And I’m excited. I feel really overwhelmed by it all, though. So far she’s lined up a date, got a co-chair, er, host. Asked me for a list of friends I’d like invited, and asked where I’m registered.


So the registry… she has a good point. She says that if I register for one or two larger items, folks can contribute an amount they can afford (whether that’s $5 or $50) and not feel like their contribution is obvious. But I hate asking for things. We’re very fortunate, financially, and I *really* feel like people don’t owe us anything in the way of presents. (Of course, like all human beings, I also like presents.) Couple that with the fact I have no *clue* what I need or want for a baby (although this cute but impractical bassinet comes to mind) and my previously posted current issues with pregnancy, and I’m flummoxed.

And with the guest list thing. I live in a bunch of different worlds. They’re not intentionally distinct for the most part, but my RL friends don’t go to my church and my church friends aren’t generally on-line. And then there’s family. And work. I’m not sure if my RL friends would like to attend a shower from church, or if they’d like to have one seperately (and since I’m not supposed to be organizing any of this, I don’t want to ask either. That seems wrong.)

Er, so as my friends, what do you suggest? What should I register for and where? How can I effectively communicate that I want to share joy and time together, but don’t need things if you don’t feel the overwhelming urge to give them? If you think you are the sort of person who would like to attend a baby shower for me, would you rather attend a church-centric one or should I take a wild leap of faith and guess that my RL friends might also host me one and you’d rather attend that one?

I’ve never done this before. I don’t think I’ve been to more than one or two baby showers in my whole life. And to be honest, I’m a whole lot less comfortable with this baby thing than I was the wedding thing.


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Brenda currently lives in Stoneham MA, but grew up in Mineral WA. She is surrounded by men, with two sons, one husband and two boy cats. She plays trumpet at church, cans farmshare produce and works in software.

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